Day 19

I woke up late this morning to the sound of my mother coming into my bedroom and telling me that I had to get up right now or I would be walking to school. I don't understand why she had to act like such a bitch about that, especially since it wasn't my fault that my phone wasn't working and the alarm didn't go off. My little brother had another appointment today and the doc shows up at 9, which means I have to go to school by 8:30. So, if I were to walk to school, you know how long it would take me? An hour. No, I do not have a working bike, nor do I ride a skateboard, scooter, etc. I walk or driven to work, and it used to be the same for school last year. Last year, I got half day for second semester so that I could work late nights, and you know what my parents do? They made me walk to school every day. But, if I closed the night before, I got lucky, because that was when I got to sleep in and they took me to school, but my manager only let me close two nights, and working a four hour shift or not closing shift did not count and I would have to walk. Also, it was decided that I have to pay for my parent to take me to school and drive me to work. I don't mind paying my parents to drive me to school, but seriously, to work? It's only a little ways away, when I'm able to walk to work it takes 30 minutes, but driving only takes 5. Like I said, I don't mind paying for the ride to school, but then this is where my mother fucked up. Recently, my parents have been borrowing money from me and paying me back when my dad gets paid, because I get paid on a Wednesday and my dad on a Saturday, sometimes the Monday after, so I let them. My mom was $40 in debt to me, and I mentioned it to my dad who told my mom to talk to me about it. I paid $15 for gas, $16 for gas, and $10 for my school book. I told my mom and this is what she had to say about it: the $16 was by my choice, even though my mom told me to keep my cousin out of the house so they could go through her things to see if she had been stealing for us, the $15 she took so that I PAID her for the rides to school and work, and the $10 she's not even going to bother. What the the holy fuck. So now, I'm so being hesitant about letting my parents borrow my money, especially when they're only going to take and take and take and not pay back because they come up with some lame ass excuse to not do it. Yeah, it really pisses me off.

In other news, my thoughts never went away this morning, especially with how pissed off my mother was at me. So, I walk into Biology, feeling like shit, and the best thing happens: my teacher, Mr. Miller, takes notice and he helps me. At the end of class, he told me that, even though I'm having a bad day, to just remember how awesome I am. It really helped me a lot to keep at bay the urge to cut. Also, today should have been a Friday. With how the school schedule goes, I don't understand why they didn't just give us Fridays off instead of making our breaks two weeks longer.Any way, good night.